Pie, Glorious Pie & A Few Other Holiday Must Haves

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We had other foods on Thanksgiving of course that are my favorites, but I’ll start with the pies. There aren’t many people on the planet who dislike pie. I can’t even fathom such a crazy thing.

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I absolutely love that we can have food allergies and sensitivities and we can still enjoy all types of fabulous meals and desserts. In fact, that’s why I originally started this blog. To prove to people that you can dramatically change the ingredients in your diet and still love the food you eat while you gain back your health.

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I don’t know about you, but I was not willing to say goodbye to pie so I figured out numerous ways around it. First, the crust is to me, the absolute most important part. Good filling with a bad crust is a bad pie and we don’t want that.

My crust must be buttery, flaky, without weird texture or sour taste, and must be able to be used for both sweet and savory dishes. I’ve tried many recipe variations and this one meets all of my requirements and gets rave reviews every single time I use it. The Mama’s Flour Mix is the key. The recipe makes 4 crusts and can easily be frozen for future use. You can find my recipe for Pie Crust From Heaven HERE.

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So let’s move on to the actual pies. Pumpkin pie…oh how I love pumpkin pie! It’s incredibly easy to make gluten and dairy free.

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Gluten Free & Dairy Free Pumpkin Pie

1 – 15 oz Can of Organic Plain Canned Pumpkin

1 – 13.5 Can of Full Fat Organic Coconut Milk

3 Organic Eggs

3/4 Cup of Organic Coconut Sugar

1 1/2 Tablespoons of Pumpkin Pie Spice

Pinch of Sea Salt

1 Pie Crust, rolled out with GF flour

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Prepare pie crust in pie plate and set aside. Measure all other ingredients into a large 6 Cup glass measuring cup or large bowl that is easy to pour from. Whisk well until all ingredients are fully combined, making sure the solidified parts of the coconut milk are fully combined and smooth. Place a baking sheet on the middle rack of the oven and then place the pie plate on the sheet. Carefully pour the batter into the crust.

Bake for 15 minutes at 425 degrees, then reduce oven temperature to 350 degrees (leave the pie in the oven!), and bake for 35-40 minutes until set. I like mine to have just the slightest jiggle in the middle when I take it out. It will set more when it’s out of the oven. If you overcook it, it will crack.

I also made an apple pie with a pie crust bottom and a streusel top. The best of both worlds in one pie if you ask me! Also extremely easy to do gluten free and dairy free.

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Apple Crumble Pie

For the topping:

1 Cup of Gluten Free Rolled Oats

1/2 Cup of Organic Coconut Sugar

1/2 Tablespoon of Unsulphured Black Strap Molasses

1/2 teaspoon of Sea Salt

1/2 teaspoon of Ground Cinnamon

1/2 Cup of Mama’s All Purpose Almond Flour

6 Tablespoons of Cold Dairy Free Butter 

For the pie:

1 Pie Crust rolled out with GF flour

5 Fuji Apples, washed & dried, peels on

1/2 teaspoon of Ground Cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon of Ground Nutmeg

1/8 teaspoon of Sea Salt

1/3 Cup of Organic Coconut Sugar

1/2 Cup of Mama’s All Purpose Almond Flour

About 6-8 teaspoons or so of Dairy Free Butter to dot apples 

Prepare the pie crust in the pie pan and set aside. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. For the topping: measure the sugar and molasses into a bowl and stir with fork until sugar and molasses are combined. Measure in the rolled oats, sea salt, cinnamon, and flour and stir to combine. Add the 6 Tablespoons of cold butter and lightly and quickly (as to not melt the butter) combine with fingers until it forms a “crumble”. Set aside.

The sugar and molasses should still be relatively dry after being combined.

The sugar and molasses should still be relatively dry after being combined.

Core the apples and slice thinly into a large bowl. Add the cinnamon, nutmeg, sea salt, and butter and stir well to coat all the apples. Pour the apples into the pie crust and arrange so there are no holes or gaps.

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Dot the top with the 6-8 teaspoons of cold dairy free butter. Top evenly with the crumble topping.

Bake at 375 degrees for about 60 minutes, I covered mine with foil at 40-45 minutes to keep the crumble from over browning. Test with a fork to make sure apples are done, they should have just a very light bit of texture.

Another absolutely fabulous thing you don’t need to go without when dealing with food allergies is whipped cream. This time when I went to grab my jar of homemade GF vanilla extract, I realized it was just full of beans and no extract. I used the insides of several beans and went without extract and it resulted in the best and most flavorful coconut milk whipped cream I’ve ever made.

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Vodka Vanilla Bean Coconut Milk Whipped Cream

*Place Cans of Coconut Milk In Fridge Overnight, or if you’re in a hurry, a minimum of 4 hours

3 Cans of Chilled Full Fat Organic Coconut Milk

About 1/2 – 3/4 Cup of Organic Coconut Powdered Sugar, whiz up in a blender or Nutribullet to resemble powdered sugar

8-10 Vodka Soaked Vanilla Beans, scraped about 3 teaspoons (or, 2 teaspoons of pure vanilla extract if you don’t have the beans)

If you’re using vanilla beans, slice down the middle and scrape into a small bowl.

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Whiz up the coconut sugar until it resembles a powdered sugar texture.

This is prior to blending.

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Carefully scoop out the solid half of coconut milk out of each can and place it in the bowl of an electric mixer. Reserve 3 Tablespoons of the liquid coconut milk for the whipped cream and refrigerate the remaining milk for smoothies at another time (If you’re using vanilla extract, you may not need to add any additional coconut milk). Using a whisk attachment, beat the coconut cream until medium peak. Add the powdered coconut sugar in two parts, beating in between. Add the vanilla bean seeds and beat until thick and the consistency you like in your whipped cream. If it’s too thick, add coconut milk about 1 Tablespoon at a time until it reaches the consistency you desire. Don’t add it too quickly, as it will thin out very fast and there’s no turning back.

Next to pie, I would have to rank stuffing as my next favorite part of any holiday meal. By itself or along with giblet gravy and mashed potatoes…I could just swoon every time I eat it. Pure comfort food at its best. You can go HERE for my Million Dollar Stuffing recipe.

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Lastly, there’s the turkey. We had a bit of snafu with ours this year, you can read about it here. The farm we purchased it from responded to my note right away and we are being given the option of a gift certificate or a refund. An organic 14lb turkey costs right at about $100 with shipping, so I’m thankful for their courteous customer service and as this was the first turkey from them that we’ve ever had issue with, I will definitely try them again.

The turkey was a bummer but I did make a fabulous rub for the skin. Very flavorful and aromatic. To me, one of the best parts of any roasted bird is the crispy, salty skin!

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Turkey Herb Rub

Nurtribullet or Good Blender

About 1/8 to 1/4 Cup of Sea Salt (you will likely have some left over for other meals)

3 Fresh Sage Leaves

1 Large Sprig of Fresh Rosemary, stem removed

About 1 Heaping Tablespoon of Fresh Thyme Leaves

Place all ingredients in a blender or Nutribullet and blend until herbs and salt are completely combined.

Once I stuffed the turkey, I covered it in chilled dairy free butter and then rubbed a very generous amount of the Herb Rub all over the turkey. Delicious! 

Store any unused Turkey Herb Rub in an air tight container. But, allow it to dry out for a day first as the fresh herbs add a bit of moisture.

I hope you have a wonderful holiday season and remember, with a little research and willingness, we don’t have to suffer or feel like we’re going without just because of food allergies.

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Let’s Do Some Catching Up!


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Well here we are already onto the last day of November. I had intended on doing at least a couple posts of fabulous Thanksgiving foods for you, but somehow November slipped right by at lightening speed.

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Probably the best part for me selfishly, was that I didn’t have to host it.

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My job was to bring the pies and I provided the stuffing and turkey which was roasted at my mom’s house.

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The turkey was a disappointment this year, unfortunately. We have purchased it from the same organic farm for many years without issue so we were shocked that this one did not live up to the expectation. The breasts were very thin, there was little meat on the legs and thighs, and despite it looking like a meaty bird in this picture, it was not. There was also a large layer of fat (ugh) all across the bottom of the bird. Very weird. And quite disappointing considering the cost of an organic 14 pound turkey. I’ve sent them a note with my concerns, so we’ll see how they respond.

The best part of the turkey was the skin. I whizzed up sea salt, fresh thyme, rosemary, and sage in the Nutribullet for a delicious and aromatic rub.

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I made a pumpkin pie and a streusel topped apple pie. They got rave reviews and I made the best coconut milk whipped cream I think I’ve ever made.

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I believe the secret was using the seeds of several vodka soaked vanilla beans and no vanilla extract. It was delicious!

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Prior to Thanksgiving we had a terrible windstorm with almost hurricane level 80 mph winds! It left well over 100,000 people without power for several days, including us.

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We were very lucky though as we didn’t have a tree fall on our house or crush our cars like many people. We also had generators to charge phones, have a little light, and run the refrigerator so we didn’t lose food. Our gas fireplace heated the house very well.

When I was a child I loved eating by candlelight so doing it during a power outage was not a problem.

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We have a gas stove so that made cooking relatively easy with a lamp from the living room for extra light.

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We lost our power for 3 days but many went without for more than 8 days! Crews from all over the country came to our city to help, neighbors came together, and overall even though there was a lot of damage to many neighborhoods, it all went very well.  As soon as the power came back on I hit the kitchen.

Of course!

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I felt like I was in cooking withdrawal for some reason. Those are thin slices of ginger mixed in with the garlic, onions, and mushrooms. Roasted ginger is absolutely delicious!

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Abigail thought it was a special treat for her.

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I made a huge salad, roasted veggies, made a big pot of chicken soup, and home made bread.

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Thanksgiving prep was so easy that two days prior to Thanksgiving when I would normally be up to my earlobes in kitchen and cleaning duties if I had been hosting, I was able to decorate the inside of the house for Christmas.

Then, the day after Thanksgiving, I actually had energy and we were able to enjoy our family tradition of cutting our own tree.

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The Christmas holiday is my absolute favorite time of year and I have lots and lots of decorations. I like to savor the holiday so decorating “early” isn’t a problem for me. You can even hear Christmas music prior to Thanksgiving if you come for a visit.

No Scrooges allowed.

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The ladies at the tree farm make gorgeous swags and wreaths. This one will be perfect for our front door.

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We have two trees again this year. You may remember that we had a little “issue” with the live tree last year... This year, I set my sites on a smaller, more manageable tree. Hopefully it will behave itself and the Russians won’t have to come help me clean up shattered ornaments again.

It even fit nicely in the back of the truck.

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Yesterday was spent decorating both trees. It always seems like such a grand idea to have two trees until it comes time to decorate them, and then of course, take them down. But the in between part is what makes it so special.

This is Tree #1 which is in the sitting room off the kitchen.

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I particularly love early, dark mornings, when I walk downstairs and the house is lit with trees. So gorgeous and peaceful!

This is Tree #2 in the family room.

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I hope all of you are doing well and are enjoying the holiday season!

Thank you so much for the kind words, blog support, and prayers for my health that you all so freely give here on the blog, on Facebook, via personal message, and on Instagram. I appreciate all of you so much. I’m praying December will be a good health month and peaceful for all of us, and that I will be able to bring you lots of fabulous recipe ideas for your holidays.

I will share my Thanksgiving recipes with you tomorrow!

Blessings to you ~ April

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Garlic Kalamata Grilled Chicken Sandwich & Easy Cucumber Salad


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My grain free, dairy free, Garlic & Kalamata Olive Bread was a big hit.

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Also, surprisingly versatile.

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We had it with the chicken dish I posted last week.  We had it with salad, I had some for breakfast one day with some cold chicken, and then I used the last of it to make us these grilled chicken sandwiches.

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They were SO good! All of the flavors together really made for a fabulous sandwich. Tony had sharp cheddar and Brazilian Breakfast sheep’s milk cheese on his. I had Daiya Cheddar Style Shreds on mine along with the Brazilian Breakfast. We dipped them in spicy mustard and I have to say, it was the best sandwich I’ve had in a long time.

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The bread was sliced generously, so I ended up grilling on both sides twice to get the cheese to melt. Once with the lid on for both sides, and then again with the lid off on both sides to crisp the bread.

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The combination of cheeses with the slices of garlic and olives in the bread, along with the chicken was so flavorful.

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I also made a simple cucumber salad to go alongside our sandwiches. A crisp and clean salad works very well alongside a heavy sandwich.

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A little chopped spinach, sliced cucumbers, sliced cherry tomatoes, red onion, white balsamic, unfiltered extra virgin olive oil, and a couple grinds of pepper. Easy!

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It’s a real treat to have a grilled sandwich loaded with melting cheese when you’re gluten free or grain free, and dairy free.

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I’ve found that I can indulge in sheep or goat’s milk cheese a couple of times a month with no issues at all. The Daiya cheese is a nice treat as well. It melts like “real” cheese, although takes a bit longer, and has a pleasant flavor. However, it’s rather unpleasant in its raw form. Combined with the sheep’s cheese, it was excellent!

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If you’d like to make the Garlic & Kalamata Olive Bread, you can go here for my recipe.

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Simple Stuffed Chicken Breasts


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The last few months I’ve been in a rut. A dinner rut that is.

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Do you ever get stuck just rotating the same old recipes over and over again? You’d think a food blogger would be immune to such things because we always have food ideas dancing in our heads. But, we get tired and bored and uninspired just like everyone else it seems.

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Last week I finally decided enough is enough and I sat down for several hours and created 60 dinner meal plans to choose from. I have hundreds of recipes on my own blog along with piles and piles of cookbooks. I’m also slightly addicted to tearing recipes out of magazines that I can tweak in one way or another.

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Having food allergies means tweaking is a must usually, and if I’m feeling energetic, it’s fun to come up with fresh ideas to put on table. Now we have some old favorites mixed with new dishes to try over the next few weeks and I’m no longer in a boring rut.

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The photos don’t really do the dish justice, unfortunately. It comes out of the oven so gorgeous! It’s the time of year when our daylight is diminishing at an alarming rate which makes for terrible food photography. I prefer to rely on natural light, but this house is so dark, I may have to invest in some photography lighting or get creative with a light box.

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Before you decide to add this dish to your menu, I’m going to be honest with you and tell you I did not like the addition of bacon.

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I was feeling a little queasy before dinner and the first bite with the bacon was not appealing to me. Once I removed it from the middle of my chicken breast, I thoroughly enjoyed the recipe.

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My husband thought the bacon added a nice flavor. So I’ll leave it up to you. I served it with my grain free Garlic & Kalamata Olive Bread which was a very tasty combination!

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Grain Free Dairy Free ~ Simple Stuffed Chicken Breasts

Preheat Oven to 350 degrees.

2 Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts, sliced open like a book

About 2 Tablespoons Crumbled Sheep’s Milk Feta

About 1/4 Cup Grated Sheep’s Milk Parmesan + more to top breasts at end of cooking

About 2 Tablespoons of Diaya Cheddar Style Shreds

1 Cup of Fresh Baby Spinach, chopped

A Few Very Thin Slices of Red Onion

2 Slices of Cooked Bacon, chopped (see post above…I didn’t like the bacon)

1/2 Jar of Your Favorite Store Bought Marinara Sauce

Olive Oil

Drizzle a little olive oil in a small baking dish. Place the breasts in the dish and stuff with the cheeses, spinach, onion, and *bacon. Add the marinara sauce, cover with tin foil,  and bake for 45 minutes. Remove the foil, add more grated sheep’s Parmesan on top of the breasts and continue baking until the parm is lightly melted and a beginning to color. About 10 more minutes. Serve with your favorite crusty bread and a salad if you’re not too lazy to make one like I was!

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Grain Free ~ Garlic & Kalamata Olive Bread


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It isn’t surprising to me that there are 90 verses in the bible discussing bread in one way or another. Bread in the bible functions as a social bond. The giving of bread to another person is a major element of hospitality and serves as a sign of respect and concern.

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We’re told to go eat our bread with Joy. And we all know the miracle of Jesus feeding 5,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and two fish. Jesus is even referred to as the “bread of God who gives life to the world”. What’s my point?

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Well, not to make light of 90 verses in the bible of course, but bread is a big deal. It was important then and it’s important now for all kinds of reasons both biblical and otherwise. And it’s especially important to those of us who are gluten and grain free!

In fact, bread was one of the first things I set out to tackle when I started baking with gluten free ingredients. Gluten free was a challenge for sure, but baking grain free bread that resembles bread and tastes like “real” bread, consists of small miracles. It is not easy.

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I think I have finally created a couple of go-to grain free, dairy free bread recipes that are extremely pleasing to me. Now I can enjoy buns, crusty bread, french bread, garlic bread, french toast, toast, and cinnamon rolls just as much as the next guy. That’s important to me and from what I hear from other people, it’s important to them too.

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Bread is comfort. It’s filling, it smells fabulous, it feels amazing, it can be combined with absolutely mouth-watering delicious, ingredients.

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A few baguettes, goat cheeses, roasted garlic, and wine and you have the perfect cozy, social gathering. It’s the staple food of life. No one should ever have to go without bread.

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Many of us remember our mothers or grandmothers houses being filled with the smells of bread baking. Or walking down the street in a city on a cold day being led by our noses to a local bakery.

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Fresh rolls on the Thanksgiving dinner table. Fresh bread with a steaming bowl of soup… Bread smells like home. We need that in this hustle bustle world! Our families need to come home to a house full of comforting smells that they’ll remember for a lifetime. Smells that stir up deep, heartfelt memories long after we’re gone.

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Please don’t give up on being able to experience that. People panic when they’re told they can’t eat gluten and dairy. I hear that it’s too hard, too expensive, too irritating, it’s not fair, they don’t know how, they can’t bake…. don’t cheat yourself because you’re maybe a little bit overwhelmed or uneasy about starting something new.

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I have so many memories of people I love that are attached to food. There’s no way I’m willing to give up those traditions and the fabulous smells and reminders of my life with those people simply because of food allergies.

And you shouldn’t either.

You DO have it in you to bake, and cook, and build fabulous smelling memories. Start small and work your way up one loaf or roll or baguette at a time.

I believe in you!

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Grain Free Dairy Free ~ Garlic & Kalamata Olive Boule

2/3 Cup Arrowroot

1 Cup Sweet Potato Flour

3/4 Cup Coconut Flour

4 teaspoons Xanthan

4 teaspoons Double Acting Baking Powder

1 teaspoon Sea Salt

3 Tablespoons Active Yeast

2 Tablespoons Coconut Sugar

1/3 Cup Warm Water

6 Eggs, Separated

3 Tablespoons Grass Fed Gelatin

1/2 Cup Cool Water

3 Tablespoons Apple Cider Vinegar

1 Tablespoon Extra Virgin Olive Oil

1 Cup Kalamata Olives, sliced lengthwise in half

1 WHOLE Head of Garlic, cloves peeled and sliced

2 Tablespoons Dried Oregano

1 Tablespoon Dried Rosemary, crushed

#1.  Place a piece of parchment (enough to go up the sides) into a large bowl and set aside. Slice olives and peel and slice garlic cloves.

#2.  Measure all dry ingredients except  the yeast, sugar, and gelatin into a medium bowl and whisk. Set aside.

#3.  Separate eggs, placing whites in the a mixer bowl. Beat to stiff peak.

#4.  Measure the 1/3 cup warm water and add the yeast and sugar and stir until combined. Set aside.

#5. Measure 1/2 cup cool water (in a glass measuring cup or ramekin) and add the gelatin, stirring quickly to combine. Microwave for 40 seconds. Set aside.

#6.  Measure the apple cider vinegar and olive oil into the egg whites. Add the yeast mixture to the egg whites. Turn mixer on low and very slowly drizzle the gelatin mixture into the egg white mixture.

#7. Keeping the mixer on low, add the flour mixture and mix on low until combined (or you’ll have a dust cloud). Then, mix on medium high for 2 minutes.

#8.  Add the sliced olives, sliced garlic, oregano and rosemary, mix on medium to combine thoroughly.

#9. Scoop dough into the bowl with the parchment and lightly shape the dough into a round ball with wet hands. Do not pat down!

#10.  Place the Dutch oven (lid on- remove knob if plastic) on the middle rack of the oven and preheat to 500 degrees. While the oven is preheating, place the dough bowl on top of the oven and loosely cover with a kitchen towel.

#11.  When oven is preheated VERY CAREFULLY remove the lid and grab the bread dough by the corners of the paper and set it into the VERY hot Dutch oven. Replace the lid. Bake for 20 minutes.

#12.  After 20 minutes, remove the lid (set somewhere safe!), turn the oven down to 450 degrees and continue baking for 15 more minutes.

Remove bread from Dutch Oven and cool on wire rack . ***Allow the Dutch Oven to cool inside the oven or somewhere safe like inside the sink.

(Notes: I checked my bread halfway into the 2nd  half of the baking and felt it was getting dark quickly so molded a piece of foil over the bread for the last half of baking time. You may have noticed my loaf has a split down the middle. That is because I sliced a cross in the dough prior to baking. I didn’t have you do that in the recipe instructions because I think it causes the loaf to fall a bit. Next time I won’t cross the top. I also did not do an egg wash because I was fearful that because the oven was so  hot, it would burn the top of the bread.)

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Apple Chicken Salad with Pumpkin Seeds & Raisins


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Somehow, Monday is here again and our weekend flew right by us!  My husband was gone the latter part of the week, had to travel through Saturday, and didn’t return home until after dinner. We made the most of Sunday though. It was a gorgeous day so we headed over to Idaho to the beautiful town of Coeur d’alene. We watched the sad ending of the Seahawk’s football game and had a cocktail in the Whispers Lounge at the resort, then walked along main street and looked in some of the shops. Not many are open on Sunday which I guess may be a blessing on the pocketbook. Once we worked up an appetite and decided against the posted menus on many of the restaurants on main street, we headed back to the resort for lunch.

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 Sadly, their gluten free menu was predictable, so we both settled with the salad bar. We do love a good salad bar with a large variety and they say their salad bar is 18 feet long. I would say more like maybe 10 if they’re lucky, but what do I know. It had a decent amount of choices and a variety of gluten free dressings, but only two were non dairy. Someone had slopped blue cheese dressing into the huckleberry vinaigrette. You would think if they were mindful enough to label dressings gluten free, they would have placed all of them together rather than among the other dressings. Blue cheese dressing is not gluten free. But again, what do I know?

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I do dream of the day I can go into a restaurant that has both gluten free and dairy free choices on their menu. Exciting and innovative choices, not just meat, fish, vegetables and gluten free cake with dairy.  I was disappointed they didn’t offer a gluten free bread basket or gluten free crackers to accompany the salads. There are many gluten free options for crackers and breads now, so I couldn’t come up with a good excuse for our missing bread basket.

With more and more people being diagnosed with food related health issues, it’s hopefully only a matter of time before we’ll be seeing more variety on allergen free menus. Something as simple as this gluten and dairy free Apple & Chicken Salad would have even been a nice change of pace from the same old predictable gluten free menu fare.

About 1 out of every 100 people are diagnosed with celiac and that doesn’t count the unbelievable number of those who are gluten sensitive. Not long ago I read a USA Today article that said that 60% of adults cannot digest dairy. More than half of adults cannot digest dairy. If a chef were to even Google “gluten free and dairy free”, he’d have hundreds of simple recipes right at his fingertips along with thousands and thousands of innovative blogs who post allergen free recipes all the time. I don’t expect a large allergen free menu or to be pampered and spoiled as this resort claims to do for their guests, but I do expect that they put a little elbow grease and innovative thinking into their dishes.

Until then, there’s always home where we know we can order anything we want.

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Apple Chicken Salad with Pumpkin Seeds & Raisins

Makes 2 Servings

3/4 Cup Chicken breast, cubed

1/2 of a Macoun Apple, diced

1 1/2 Tablespoons of Diced Red Onion

2 1/2 Tablespoons of Diced Celery

2 1/2 Tablespoons of Raisins

1 Tablespoons of Pumpkin Seeds

1 1/2 Tablespoons of Olive Oil Mayonnaise (or dairy free plain yogurt)

2 Tablespoons of Freshly Squeezed Lemon Juice

Freshly Ground Pepper

Chopped Romaine Lettuce

Place all ingredients except the lettuce in a bowl and stir to combine. Serve on a bed of romaine.

Grain Free Spice Cakes



Did I ever tell you about the time years and years ago when our young neighbor down the street was having an affair? You’d be surprised what you’re privy to when you keep your eyes open.

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We didn’t know her at all, but when you’re an observant person…you see things other average Joes, just don’t see.  Hubby deployed or some such thing, and pretty soon a shiny new truck and a shiny new young man started coming around. Then he started staying.

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Well, my husband has a knack for coming up with nicknames for people. He crowned the shiny young man, “Porn Star”. Along with a tune of “bow chicka wow wow”, every time the shiny young man drove by. Well, Porn Star had his own business and he provided a service we needed. So my husband thought, “What the heck, I’ll throw this guy some business.” Now, I had never seen this guy close up so I had no idea it was actually Porn Star that came to our house to give us an estimate.

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While we were talking over plans he made a few comments about the young wife down the street and the neighborhood, but was so vague, I thought he was just a friend of the couple or an employee of Porn Star.

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Well, as you can probably guess, I was very curious about how the husband disappeared and the shiny new young man just showed up. It was a mystery we needed solved! So I said a couple of things in a round about way like, “Yeah, we noticed the husband deployed and now some other dude is hanging around. So how’s that panning out with the husband?”


Oh yes I did.


He was silent. Or maybe he mumbled a couple of things, I’ve tried to forget. But I do remember the look my husband gave me. That slight look of horror mixed with a large dose of humorous smirk…because I had stuck my foot in my mouth and he probably couldn’t wait to see how I was going to get it out.  Once the realization hit me…. you know that hot wave you get from your toes all the way up to your head? I had one of those and immediately thought, “Oh CRAP. Well, I’m glad he already gave us our estimate.” And I didn’t say another word. In fact, I think I may have laughed. Because really, what else are you supposed to do at that point?


Our conversation ended very quickly after that and about an hour later the doorbell rang. I peeked out the kitchen window and sure enough, it was Porn Star.

Bow Chica Wow Wow!

And of course, my husband was nowhere to be found. So I opened up the door with a bright cheery smile and he handed me another estimate and said that after our conversation he realized there was “No Way” he would be able to provide the service for what he had originally offered.

He doubled it.


I laughed again, and silently (THIS time) thought, “Hmmm…well isn’t that interesting…” After a good laugh we ended up hiring another guy. “Harley Guy”, who did it for a fraction of Porn Star’s original bid. Deployed Hubby never returned. Not long after that, Porn Star and, “Variety is The Spice of Life” young lady, moved on to another more unsuspecting and less inquisitive neighborhood I guess.

Mystery solved!

Grain & Dairy Free Spice Cakes

*Preheat oven to 350 degrees

1 Cup of Coconut Flour

3/4 Cup of Sweet Potato Flour

1 Cup of Coconut Sugar

2 teaspoons of Double Acting Baking Powder

1/8 teaspoon of Sea Salt

1 Tablespoon of Pumpkin Pie Spice

1/2 Cup of Dairy Free Soy Free Butter

4 Eggs

1 1/2 teaspoons of Pure Almond Extract

1 Cup + 1/2 Cup (measured separately) Full Fat Coconut Milk

Measure the dry ingredients into a stand mixer and whisk to combine. Add the butter, eggs, almond extract, and 1 Cup of the coconut milk. Beat until fully incorporated, scraping down sides once or twice. Allow the batter to rest while you place cupcake liners into a tin (18). Add the remaining 1/2 cup coconut milk and beat until fully incorporated. Fill muffin cups 3/4 full and bake for 20 minutes.

**I made a simple powdered sugar/butter frosting…that ended up being a dance of add more of this and add more of that and then I had to toss it and make another batch. So I will let you figure the measurements for your frosting, or you can go here and use these measurements. I used powdered sugar, dairy free butter, pumpkin pie spice, and a little coconut milk in mine. I also sprinkled them with Maple Sugar Nuggets.