I’m thinking I need to have chocolate crepes for breakfast more often. When is chocolate not a good idea? Uhhhh..never.
I woke up feeling like I can only guess what a curmudgeonly 90 year old feels like. Stiff and tired and brain foggy and grumpy. When I have those days, it helps foster more compassion for the angry old people I see in the grocery store. If only I could serve them all chocolate crepes and give them a hug and tell them, “I understand!”.
I contemplated staying in bed with a book or a Netflix binge. But, if I’m not feeling absolutely terrible, I force myself to get out of bed and get moving. My friend Tamela and I talked about the levels of sickness when you have a chronic illness the other day. Guess what, she’s not chronically ill, and she understood what I was talking about. I love that about her. Those “sick” levels either allow you to do things with your day or don’t, and it can be different every day. Some days, the hardest battle you’ll fight, is with yourself. But we’ll talk about that another time.
I dragged myself out of bed and saw my husband off to work. He had to come back twice for things he’d forgotten. Seems we were both feeling a bit foggy. I logged into a group I belong to where I watched two videos by friends I admire very much. It’s an out of the box kind of support group, and the people in it, have been instrumental in my life in so many ways that I cannot even begin to list them. Let’s just say, they helped save me from myself.
One video was recorded from London and one was live from L.A. The first video was about the importance of having a friend you can trust to unload all the things that are weighing on you. Someone who will just listen with love and understanding and no judgement. What you tell them doesn’t need to make sense to them or even to you, and you don’t need them to solve it, you just need to get it out there. Sometimes, we don’t really know why we’re in a funk and we just need to list all the things that are heavy. Your feelings may change a day from then or even an hour from that point, but right then and there, it’s important to have someone in your life who will be that listener.
The second live discussion was about the stress of feeling overwhelmed. How we often jump in with both feet a little too fast and a little too hard and end up frozen or not being able to move forward because the enormity of how we’ve chosen to tackle it, is just too much. Its OK to admit that you know. It was about stepping back and finding new ways to manage all the things on our plate. By looking at each task on its own and breaking it down into small steps and increments, we are able to alleviate that overwhelming tendency to have that “all or nothing” attitude. We all know when we are overwhelmed. We feel anxious, exhausted, grumpy, and want to run in the other direction and things rarely get accomplished like we’d hoped. We’re mean to ourselves about it. We feel guilty. You know the drill.
The reason I love my “support” group is because they’re real. Not one person is fake. We are all there for the same reasons. We are raw and honest and completely transparent and everyone respects it. We are all there to grow, to learn, to give support and get support, to become our best selves and we do that by learning from each other and by being honest. By being a friend. By giving hope to those who have wandered off their path and feel lost. The focus is about peeling off the layers of “pretend” that this world insists we carry. With layers and layers of pretend, you can’t get to know yourself or anyone else in a truly authentic way. You can’t reach out for support or give proper support. You can’t heal anything or be genuinely, deeply, happy when you are protecting yourself with layers of pretend.
The coolest part about those videos this morning? They were personal stories from the people who were doing them. It wasn’t a tutorial on how they have the perfect life and have it all together and how, “you can too!”. They are both successful life coaches, successful, human beings. And guess what? They struggle too and they’re not afraid to show it. They aren’t afraid to reach out when they need it. That’s what makes them successful. And I don’t mean monetarily. I mean success at a healthy, happy, life.
My morning improved dramatically when I reached out. When I allowed people to hear how I felt. When I allow people to see the real me, the struggling me, me in all my forms, happy, sad, together, not together, it opens amazing doors into deep connection with others and true friendships. It leaves room for people to be authentic. To say, “Hey…ME TOO!!” And when people can say, “Hey me too!” there is less judgement, more room for sharing and support, and room for what I believe relationships are really supposed to look like. Authentic. Not always easy or comfortable, but always worth it.
Authentic is my mantra. Even when I wake up and feel like a crippled curmudgeon and want to hide from the world. I don’t like people to see me sick or struggling, or even unhappy. But, that is life. There is no reason to hide it or pretend that it is anything different. I reached out this morning, I sought support and a kind word from true friends. It felt so good, I gave support too! Sometimes when you feel like you have so little to give, all it takes is a couple friends to remind you that it doesn’t take much to fill up the tank, even to spilling over.
Love is a healer. Kindness is a healer. Being your authentic you and setting aside the fear of what other’s will think, say, or do, is a healer. Guess what? I was able to peel off that 90 year old layer. I’m not as stiff, I’m not as brain foggy, I’m not grumpy at all anymore.
Reach out. Love you. xo
Chocolate Pumpkin Spice Crepes with Peach Compote & Chocolate Coconut Whipped Cream
*Makes about 8 crepes. Serves 2 people.
It’s best to make the peaches first so they have time to cool. You can eat them warm too, but the whipped cream you’ll want to put on top of them will melt.
About 1 1/2 Cups of Frozen or Fresh Peaches
1/2 teaspoon of Pumpkin Spice
1 Tablespoon of Coconut Sugar
Bring ingredients to a simmer in a medium saute pan. Turn the burner to barely just a simmer and allow the juices to mingle and thicken. About 10-15 minutes. Remove from burner and cool.
1/2 Cup of Sweet Potato Flour
1 Tablespoon of Coconut Flour
2 Tablespoons of Cacao Powder
2 teaspoons of Coconut Sugar
Dash of Sea Salt
1 1/2 teaspoons of Pumpkin Spice
1 Cup of 100% Full Fat Coconut Milk
2 Tablespoons of Water
1 1/2 teaspoons of Pure Vanilla Extract
Whisk all ingredients together in a deep bowl until completely incorporated (makes it easier for scooping) and set aside. Heat a crepe pan or non stick small frying pan on medium. Oil with a little dairy free butter. You won’t need to oil for every crepe.
Using a 1/4 cup dry measuring cup, scoop out crepe mix and pour it into the pan swirling gently to fill the bottom of the pan. When you are able to pick the pan up and loosen the crepe, it’s ready to be flipped (it’s a fast process, don’t overcook them!). Flip with a large spatula so it doesn’t tear and cook on the other side for just a few seconds. I slide mine out onto a plate covered with parchment. They won’t stick to each other. Repeat.
Chocolate Whipped Cream
1 Cup of 100% Full Fat Coconut Milk
2 Tablespoons of Cacao Powder
2-3 Tablespoons of Powdered Sugar (or whatever sweetener you like to use)
2 teaspoons of Pure Vanilla Extract
In a stand mixer, whisk the coconut milk (I have to cover mine with a towel) until thickened. Turn off the mixer and add the cacao powder and the powdered sugar. Cover again, and whisk until incorporated, scraping down the sides once or twice. Add the vanilla and whisk until thickened. This can be made ahead of time too and lasts quite nicely in the fridge for 24 hours. The coconut water will separate a bit, but all you have to do is pour it off. Don’t stir the whipped cream!