This Crazy Thing Called Life

24 Comments

I have big news.

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We’re moving back to the west coast.

Those of you who are new to the blog may not realize, we moved clear across the country from Washington state to New Hampshire 16 months ago. It was a huge move. A major life decision that we did not take lightly, and an amazing adventure.

Sometimes life pushes you in a direction that really makes you look at things. Makes you ask all the hard questions. In fact, the last three years actually have come with a lot of change. Relationships reshaped and redefined, lessons learned, new paths taken, new adventures explored, and our fair share of stress and challenges.

When we left Washington my husband’s travel schedule was supposed to be much, much, lighter. And it was for the first couple of months we were here. But then it grew and grew and pretty soon, we were only seeing each other 8 days a month if we were lucky. And then those 8 days a month were spent getting things done that I can’t do by myself, rushing to spend time together, and trying to squeeze in quick sight-seeing days. Everything here is new to us, so we had hoped to soak in as much as possible.

But time is a peculiar thing and there’s never enough of it.

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Finally, we realized that although we love so many things about New England, our new home, and our town…some major pieces of our life puzzle are missing. Like quality time spent with each other and neither one of us are happy living 2,700 miles away from our only child. We had to ask ourselves some tough questions, the main one being, “What is the goal? Is this massive job stress and being away from each other and our son worth it? What happened to that work/life balance that we have always fought for?”

The bottom line and conclusion that we came to was this:

Life is short; how do we want to spend our remaining time?

In order to be truly happy, you have to try your hardest to make sure that all the pieces of your life puzzle fit properly. When we sat down and discussed all of the things we love about New England (what’s not to love?) and then the things we were feeling uneasy about, the missing pieces were big puzzle pieces. Not simple little things we all think about like, “I wish we had a hot tub that overlooked the ocean” or “I wish we had a fireplace in our bedroom”.

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I’m talking about big things like, “life is too short to only see your spouse less than 8 days a month and your kid 3 times a year”. Because unfortunately, as we all know, people get sick, hurt, life changes quickly. One minute you’re wishing you had more time to spend with the people you love, and the next minute something happens and that option is taken off the table. If you have the ability to spend more quality time with the people you truly love, you should do it.

So, we had several hard discussions. We looked at every option and tossed around every idea we could think of. We discussed what worried us, our needs, and what was missing from this seemingly fantastic life in New England. And we made some tough decisions. No matter how much you love the area you live in, the comfortable paycheck, the gorgeous house, when the major things that are important to you are out of balance, it only takes a short time to realize absolutely nothing can make up for those things.

We’re downsizing. My husband is looking for a new job with less travel and less stress, the house is sold (thank you God!), the moving company comes at the end of April, and we’re heading back west to be closer to our son and families.

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Where in the west we’re not sure. We don’t know where our permanent home will be just yet. There’s still lots of unanswered questions and things to consider and think about. And if you’re not careful you can just think everything absolutely to death. (I’m a pro at that.)

For now, we’ve done the most important part. Taken action and steps in the right direction.

We’ve made the tough decisions.  And I must say, although making another major life change in less than 2 years is extremely and shockingly stressful, I’m SO thankful that we had the cojones to face the tough decisions. 

We’ve learned a little something in our last 26 years together. We’ve worked hard to be a team. And we’re incredibly thankful that together, we have enough courage to say, “stop” and then take the difficult leap into the unknown to have a more fulfilling life.

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Isn’t it interesting, that sometimes the toughest choices are just simply about making the conscious decision to live with less so you can experience more.

So, strap in tight, we’re headed on another adventure!

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24 thoughts on “This Crazy Thing Called Life

  1. I am new here and I love this post. Sometimes we just have to listen to our little voices and nudges and realize that, that is what is best for us and what is meant for us. Also, you are choosing your marriage and life together as the most important thing. That is a great testimony for others to follow. Best of luck on your move.

  2. Congratulations! Having made these decisions is a big weight off your shoulders, I know! Yes, you have the upcoming stress of moving & finding a job for your hubby, but you’ve crossed one major hurdle. I’m the gal in Panama City who was considering moving up to NH & we corresponded before. We, too, had to make big decisions about what was best for us, & now that we have stayed here, we know it was best for us for the foreseeable future. I will be praying for you as you continue to heal, & as you move forward from here towards your goals. I’m sure we’ll be in touch on Pinterest, too. ;o) Best wishes!

    • A big relief and a big dose of stress all at once! God’s just trying to keep life exciting for us. ;) Thank you for your prayers, I love that comfort in prayers from others. I’m so happy that your choice to stay in Panama City has worked out for the best! Blessings to you and your family. And yes, we will keep in touch!

  3. April! Wow! I so so admire your decision. I’m not sure my husband and I could make that leap without a job in place but I so admire that you both can do it. I know it’s the right decision made for the right reason. What an adventure! Can’t wait for the next chapter. Carol

    • Thank you for your support Carol! Although the stress of such a decision is quite unsettling, the reality of staying where you’re not completely happy is worse. The stress will subside and we’ll be happier knowing that we weathered the storm. :)

  4. Blessings to you my Dear. I am going thru similar life changes, and while scary as Hell, you are so right…it will all be so incredibly worth it. Thank you for sharing. And may your journey be loving, filled with light and healing<3 Venetia

    • Thank you, Venetia, what kind and loving words. I’m so blessed to have such a supportive following on my blog. Such big hearts all of you have! I wish the same for you in your journey! :)

  5. Unbelievable! What an upheaval but it sounds like you’ve weighed the options extremely carefully. I had no idea you and your husband were spending so little time together while in New England. I’m sorry it didn’t work out better for you. Congrats on selling the home and I look forward to hearing good news of your travels back to the West Coast xx

  6. Good for you both. I bet your Mother and Son were thrilled to hear the news. I’m certain this decision didn’t come easily but I applaud you for it. Many would rather adopt a wait and see attitude, allowing our most precious commodity, Time, to slip away. Good luck with the house search and upcoming move.

  7. Thank you for sharing this! My hubby and I have been married almost a year and a move is inevitable (due to schooling and other factors) and it is something that even though I have always known would happen, I still want to push out into the future as far as possible. I feel a little better after reading this – not sure I can put it into words, but thanks just the same. (and I adore the pictures of your dogs! they look so happy!)
    ~thestartofagoodlife.wordpress.com

    • My husband was raised in a military family and moved around quite a bit throughout his childhood, so he is much more resilient than I am. I like to have a plan of action, an organized life, and a nest. I’m reading a wonderful book series (The Mitford Series) and the main character likened relocating to transplanting flowers in the garden. First, once the plant is split and replanted, it wilts from the shock. Then after a bit of care and time it settles into it’s new environment and it begins to slowly take root. Then, after even more time, with love and care and maybe a season, it finally sends out shoots and blooms. :)

      • Growing up we moved about once a year til I was 9 years old – I am very into roots now! Even for being how young I was, it left an impression on me. But I am working toward being more open and optimistic toward it. I love the flower analogy. Thank you for sharing that.

  8. Pingback: My Corner Of The World | gluten free zen

  9. Hi there! I just found your site a few days ago. I have already sent it to my 31 year old daughter in California (I am in Georgia) whom, I think, has all the earmarkings of gluten intolerance. She is in denial because she has read “some” information about it and just quivers and shakes at the thought of having to change her diet. Her meals are completely reliant on breads and pastas. My Care Group from my church has 11 people in it and 8 of those (adults) are gluten intolerant! Since this was my first go ’round with having them at my place, I wanted to make sure everyone could eat what I was preparing. So, I searched the internet for recipes and your site came up and am I glad it did! Today, I made the GF French bread. I couldn’t find the GF Pantry’s bread mix so I had to get Bisquick’s GF brand for pizza dough. Their recipe did not call for apple cider or honey, though I did buy it. I added the honey, but frankly, am not a baker, so I had no idea the purpose of the vinegar, so I left it out. When I finished the “dough,” it didn’t look anything like yours which appeared thicker than mine. But you had mentioned that the dough looks more like cake batter, which it did. It didn’t rise looking like yours, either. Yikers! I baked it anyway. It turned out great!! I did use waxes parchment paper, which I think left a residue on the bottom which, in turn, left a residue on the roof of my mouth, so I think I would opt for non-waxed next time. But I think my guests will be impressed–the flavor is wonderful!–and will be happy that the meal is totally GF! I don’t eat pasta or bread, so I don’t get to have anything but the salad. Wah! But once I drop my excess weight, I will be able to enjoy these things once in a while. Thank you for your labors which benefit so many! I love your Pinterest boards, too. All the best in your move (I moved here from Oregon just outside of Portland to be near one of my daughters and her two sweet little girls, but spent most of my life in Ohio and Michigan. You made a very wise decision. GOD will protect that desire to do the right thing. Just trust. I have Psalm 4:8 stenciled on the wall across from my bed. It helps. : )
    Cynthia

    • Cynthia, what a lovely, lovely, note! You have MADE my Saturday!!

      Going gluten free is definitely a task, certainly in the beginning. But, if your daughter really is gluten intolerant, or Celiac, there will come a point where her health will make her feel so terrible she won’t be able to ignore it anymore. Hopefully, if she takes it one step at a time, she’ll begin to see that living gluten free is easier than she thinks. Plus, many restaurants now have gluten free menus!

      I will definitely change my blog post to specify parchment paper not waxed parchment paper! I’m so sorry you had to go through that! I went to the grocery store the other day and couldn’t find the bread mix either. I was praying they hadn’t taken it off the market! Now I’m beginning to wonder…

      I’m going to write that Psalm down and put it on my bedside table. Thank you so much for your kind words and support. What a blessing you were for me today! :)

      ~ April

  10. Can’t claim them as my words; but can certainly can claim the words as mine…if you know what I mean! ; ) GOD bless you and your family as you prepare for the task ahead. (I have moved 6 times in 9 years. I can certainly relate!) Have a blessed Easter! ~ Cynthia

  11. Pingback: Did You Think I Had Gotten Lost? | gluten free zen

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